I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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