Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize