my mouth tastes like poor choices
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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