Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
