Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
