I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
