You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
