I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
