She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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