I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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