so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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