Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we made out on top of his cat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
