well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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