i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
