ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
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