You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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