My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
