Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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