Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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