No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
