im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
