he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
