It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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