OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize