First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
