Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
