so explain again why im purple
no
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
