We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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