I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
