can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
