What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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