oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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