If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
