I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
