If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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