Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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