my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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