Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
organizing the empties. That sober.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
