I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
