i just had sex bonerless
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
