i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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