I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
