dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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