went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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