Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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