You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The struggles of a small town man whore
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
