I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You can't motorboat a personality
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
