Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
