May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
