i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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