She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Enjoy the penises
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
