I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
