I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
