Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
