So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
